Is Forgiveness a Command? Red Letter Challenge - Week 3
- Jul 28, 2025
- 5 min read
INTRODUCTION:
We are in Week 3 of the Red Letter Challenge—40 days of living out the actual words of Jesus.
Week 1 was foundation: Are we just hearing Jesus, or are we living like Him? Week 2 was about Being: Before we do anything for Jesus, we must learn to be with Him.
Now we step into one of the hardest, most heart-transforming things Jesus calls us to do: Forgive. Just reading the word can stir something deep inside of us. Pain. Anger. Memories we’d rather not revisit. Wounds that never fully healed.
Jesus doesn’t just talk about forgiveness—He commands it. And He doesn’t just command it—He models it.
This isn’t a gentle suggestion from Jesus—it’s a command. And that alone feels weighty. But it doesn’t stop there. He doesn’t stand at a distance telling us what to do—He steps into our world and shows us how.
Let’s be honest: forgiveness is hard. It costs something. It means releasing our right to hold on to bitterness and pain.
This is not easy. But it is necessary. Because forgiveness isn’t just for them—it’s for you.
Because unforgiveness chains your heart to the past. It steals your peace, your joy, your freedom.
This is where freedom begins. Not when they say sorry. Not when it all makes sense.
But when you decide to forgive—because Jesus forgave you.
POINT 1: Jesus Commands Forgiveness
Matthew 6:14-15 (ESV) – “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
Forgiveness is a command, even when its hard—because forgiveness is central to the heart of the gospel.
The gospel is built on forgiveness—Jesus died so we could be reconciled to God. So when we withhold forgiveness, we’re contradicting the very grace we claim to receive.
This is not about earning salvation. Jesus isn’t saying we’re saved by forgiving others.
He is saying that forgiven people forgive—it’s the natural outflow of receiving mercy.
In the Kingdom of God, forgiveness is not optional. It’s a marker of true discipleship.
So, how can we receive God’s forgiveness and refuse to give it?
ProTip - Jesus ties our horizontal relationships (with others) to our vertical relationship (with God). You can't claim closeness with the Father while clinging to bitterness toward another.
Another Example - Think of the parable of the unforgiving servant (Matthew 18:21–35).
A man is forgiven a massive debt by the king but then turns around and chokes his fellow servant over a few dollars.
When we withhold forgiveness, we’re just like that servant—grasping at others while God has wiped our slate clean.
POINT 2: Jesus Modeled Forgiveness
Luke 23:34 (ESV) – “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
Jesus didn’t just teach forgiveness—He lived it.
Think about this. On the cross, with nails in His hands, blood in His eyes, and betrayal all around Him… He forgave.
He didn’t wait for apologies. He didn’t demand payback.
He showed us what grace under pressure looks like.
Jesus says this as He is being crucified—not after resurrection, not after healing, but in the middle of betrayal, injustice, and agony.
This is radical forgiveness. It’s forgiveness before apology.
It echoes Isaiah 53:12, where the Messiah is described as “interceding for the transgressors.”
Jesus isn't just asking God to ignore sin—He is bearing it while praying for those who are literally killing him.
We often say, “I’ll forgive when they apologize.”
But Jesus forgave before we ever said sorry (Romans 5:8). But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
We don’t wait for people to make things right before we forgive—we forgive because He forgave us when we were wrong.
If Jesus could forgive in the moment of His deepest pain…Then He can empower you to forgive in yours.
POINT 3: Forgiveness Is Powerful- It Sets You Free
Let’s be honest—forgiveness is hard.
The pain is real. We know that.
What someone did might feel unforgivable.
It seems unfair to “let them off the hook.”
But here’s the truth:
Forgiveness doesn’t say, “It didn’t matter.” It says, “I refuse to carry the weight of this anymore.”
Why Forgiveness Is So Powerful:
It’s not forgetting. It’s releasing. The Greek word for "forgive" (aphiēmi) means “to let go, release, cancel a debt.”
Bitterness and unforgiveness don't hurt your offender—they hurt you. Hebrews 12:15
Forgiveness is not about minimizing the offense. It’s about refusing to be chained to it.
Forgiveness is focusing on releasing the bitterness and resentment associated with the offense. It’s a decision to move forward. Forgiveness is always possible. Reconciliation may not always be possible.
Other Scriptures that communicate this:
In Matthew 18:21-22 Peter asked how many times should he forgive and suggested seven which was more than the 3 that was in the Jewish rules. But Jesus responded with seventy times seven.
Col. 3:13 says- bearing with one another, if anyone has a complaint against another, even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.
Mark 11:25 unforgiveness can hinder your prayers.
Forgiveness vs Reconciliation:
Forgiveness and reconciliation are two different things…
Forgiveness is a personal, spiritual act of releasing someone from the debt or offense they owe you. It's a choice made by the offended person regardless of whether the offender asks for it or even changes.
It is commanded (and Jesus modeled it). “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” — Ephesians 4:32
It is unilateral. You can forgive someone even if they never apologize or repent. It's between you and God.
It frees the forgiver. Forgiveness removes the root of bitterness (Hebrews 12:15), even if the relationship never restores.
Reconciliation is the restoration of a broken relationship. It involves both parties and requires repentance, rebuilding of trust, and often time.
It is the goal but not always possible. “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” — Romans 12:18 This implies reconciliation isn’t always achievable. It is mutual. Unlike forgiveness, reconciliation requires repentance and change from the one who offended.
God reconciled us to Himself. “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us… we were reconciled to Him through the death of His Son.” — Romans 5:8-10 God's forgiveness is offered to all, but reconciliation happens when we repent and receive it.
Healing boundaries may be necessary. Reconciliation doesn’t always mean the relationship goes back to what it was. Sometimes wisdom and safety (emotional or physical) require new boundaries.
APPLICATION: Take a Step Toward Reconciliation
Who do you need to forgive?
Practical Steps:
Name the wound. Be honest about what hurt you.
Bring it to God. Let Him speak into your pain.
Decide to release. It’s a choice before it’s a feeling.
You may not feel like it. That’s okay. Start with obedience—and trust God with your healing.
Personal Challenge:
Keep doing your daily reading and challenges! Reply to our 7CC Text feed or Facebook posts anything praiseworthy or prayer needed. Let us know how it’s going! Tell us your stories!