Family - Lead Like Christ: Husbands as God’s Image-Bearers
- Jerry and Hope
- Sep 15, 2025
- 6 min read
When you hear the word “family,” what comes to your mind?
For some, it’s warm memories of Sunday dinners, road trips, and dad jokes.
For others, it’s conflict, chaos, and somebody always forgetting to put gas in the car.
And if you turn to culture for answers about family, good luck. TV gives us everything from Leave It to Beaver to The Simpsons to Modern Family. Translation: nobody knows what a family’s supposed to look like anymore.
But here’s the deal — God does. From the very beginning, God designed family as the place where love gets practiced, faith gets passed down, and legacies get built.
This series isn’t about Instagram-perfect families or self-help tips. It’s about God’s blueprint for the home — and how His grace heals what’s broken.
Here’s the big idea today: When husbands lead like Christ, families flourish and God gets the glory.
And here’s the warning: When husbands fail to lead, the enemy will.
Today, we’re starting where Scripture starts in Ephesians 5 — with husbands. Because when men lead like Christ, it shapes the whole family.
Let’s look at Scripture:
Ephesians 5:25–33 (ESV)
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Paul doesn’t command husbands to “rule” or “provide first.” He commands love — a love that looks like Christ’s, sacrificial, action-driven, and proven by the cross. Leadership in marriage is not about privilege, but responsibility.
1. The Challenge — Cultural Pressures Distort Male Leadership
Men tend to fall into two ditches:
Domination - This is when leadership mutates into control, force, or selfish authority. It’s the stereotype: the dad who barks orders from the recliner but never lifts a finger to serve.
Apathy - On the other side, some men simply check out. They’re physically present, but spiritually and emotionally absent — giving more energy to video games, hobbies or a fantasy football league than to their family.
But Scripture rejects both extremes.
Colossians 3:19 (ESV)
Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
The word “love” here is agapaō — covenantal, unconditional, Christlike love. “Do not be harsh” literally means not to embitter or make bitter. Paul’s saying: stop being cold, cruel, emotionally distant, or dismissive.
If our wives feel smaller, unloved, or unseen because of us — we are not loving like Christ.
And men, let’s be clear: if you don’t lead your wife, the enemy will. That’s what happened in the garden, and it still happens today. When husbands fail to lead, the enemy steps in.
2. Christ’s Way Is Sacrificial Love
Ephesians 5:25 (ESV)
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
Notice what Scripture doesn’t say. Paul could have said, “Lead your wives,” or “Provide for your wives.” But the command is: love. And not just any kind of love — Christ’s love.
Christ’s love wasn’t just a feeling. It was action: sweat, tears, blood, and nails.
Our culture says love is something you “fall into” or “fall out of.” The Bible says love is a decision you die into.
Jesus had all authority, yet He washed feet, fed the hungry, and gave His life.
I heard about a husband who practiced “sacrificial love” by giving up control of the TV remote. He said, “The Lord laid it on my heart that I don’t always have to watch football. So now on Sundays, I get sanctified by Hallmark movies.” That’s a funny example, but it’s also real — because love is often proven in the small, daily sacrifices that say, “I choose you over my own comfort.”
Leadership in marriage isn’t privilege; it’s responsibility. Husbands are called to daily “die to selfishness, pride, and laziness” so their wives can flourish.
Ephesians 5:28–29 (ESV)
In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church.
That’s not soft language — its strength used for protection and care.
3. Husbands Nourish and Cherish
A godly husband ensures his wife is not starved of affection, encouragement, or spiritual support. She should feel nourished and cherished.
1 Peter 3:7 (ESV)
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
“Understanding way” = study your wife, know her heart.
“Weaker vessel” = physical strength, not lesser value.
Equal heirs of grace.
Peter gives a warning: mistreat your wife, and it can even hinder your prayers.
Gut-check question: If your marriage was the only Bible your family ever read, what would they see?
For those still raising kids — would they see the gospel in the way you love, forgive, and serve?
For those with grown children or grandchildren — what does your marriage preach now? They’re still watching. Adult kids and grandkids notice whether you model grace, joy, and faithfulness… or grumpiness and distance.
And here’s the encouragement: it’s never too late to start showing the gospel in your home. Even if your kids are grown, you can still leave a testimony of Christlike love that echoes into future generations.
Generational Impact — A Legacy of Faith
A husband’s leadership doesn’t stop with his wife — it echoes through generations.
Psalm 78:4 (ESV)
We will not hide them from their children but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the LORD, and his might, and the wonders that he has done.
Faith is not automatic. It must be taught and told.
Children need stories of God’s faithfulness, not just rules.
Proverbs 13:22 (ESV)
A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children, but the sinner's wealth is laid up for the righteous.
This inheritance is more than financial. It is spiritual. Our kids and grandkids inherit the faith we model at home.
Men — your love and leadership is part of your legacy.
Gospel Connection
Christ is the perfect Husband who laid down His life for His bride, the church. Even when we failed, He loved us to the cross.
And here’s the good news: If you feel defeated because you “didn’t get it right” in the past — grace covers it. God is more interested in where you start today than where you failed yesterday.
Application
For husbands: Love like Christ. Study your wife. Pray with her. Serve her.
For wives: Encourage your husband toward Christlike leadership.
For everyone else (grandparents, widows, adult children): The way we model Christ in our homes and relationships leaves an imprint on future generations.
Personal Challenge for Husbands:
This week, do one intentional act of sacrificial love:
Pray with your wife.
Write her a note of encouragement.
Give her rest.
Start a spiritual conversation.
Conclusion
Good leadership in the home isn’t about domination or apathy. It’s about servant leadership — patience, kindness, and gentleness.
Children (and grandchildren) are watching. The inheritance we leave is not just financial but spiritual.
So, husbands — lead like Christ. Wives — support and cheer on Christlike leadership...And for everyone else — keep modeling Christ’s love in your families, friendships, and community.
And here’s the encouragement: If you feel like you didn’t “get it right” when your kids were young, don’t carry that as condemnation. God’s grace redeems the past, and your influence isn’t over. Your grown children, your grandkids, even your neighbors — they can still see the gospel in you today.
Imagine this: years from now, your kids or grandkids are telling stories about you. They may not remember the car you drove or the job you worked, but they’ll remember this — “Dad loved Mom like Jesus. Grandpa prayed with us. He showed us what faith looked like at home.”
That’s the kind of legacy that lasts. That’s the kind of leadership that outlives us and echoes into eternity.
Final Charge
So, here’s the bottom line: When husbands lead like Christ, families flourish and God gets the glory. But when husbands fail to lead, the enemy will.
This isn’t optional — it’s spiritual warfare.